Christmas in Colorado

We returned from “Christmas in Colorado” nearly two weeks ago. While it was no magical vacation, it provided quality time with all of my boys. The best Christmas gift this mama heart could have ever received.

I haven’t talked much about the new season we are all in, but here it is in a nutshell. In October we sent our oldest to live in Denver with his dad for a while. Y’all…being a teenager is hard. Being a mama to a teenage boy is hard. Being a mama to my sweet and precious son who is hundreds of miles away is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. Seriously, ever.

I know that out there somewhere is a mama like myself, who is away from her babies every other major holiday. It’s hard. I wish there were any other way to describe it, but there isn’t. This is just reality for so many families. If I had one piece of advice to give a family who finds themselves in this situation it would be, allow time and space for hearts to heal. This has changed the way our blended family works. It’s not perfect, but it is no longer about who hurt who. It is about how do we love our children more.

My mission is to continually find joy through it all, which can be easier said than done. So, I put on my big girl panties and did just that. Sure, there were days that were full of tears, but that didn’t stop me from recognizing the beautiful parts of every day. Yet allowing myself to feel all of the emotions. Highest of highs and lowest of lows.

You know what I always seem to find? My children are three of the most incredible guys you’ll ever meet. Three very different personalities, but hearts of gold encompass all three. Our time apart from each other allowed for our short reunion in Denver to be full of joy. Watching all three boys truly enjoy one another is the best medicine. No matter the days apart or the distance between, love remains. We all needed this.

Since the bigs visit Denver often to be with their dad, they have developed their favorite places. We wanted them to show us their version of Denver, and they did a great job.  Traveling during this time was not fun. Nothing about it was easy, but we made the most of it. All of our meals were to-go. We ate crammed in the car, sitting on frozen patios, or in our hotel. We visited Thunder Valley Motocross, Red Rocks, Buffalo Bills Grave, the Denver Aquarium, and explored Downtown. The weather did not cooperate much. I can handle snow, but the wind really needed to take a hike!

We spent one evening with the boys dad, he made dinner and we put together a puzzle. Blended families are complicated, and it has taken years to get to a place where we can all be together without animosity. It’s one thing I am so thankful for, being together with the kids. My hope from this season is that our kids genuinely know their parents love them more than anything. Love them enough to release control, love them enough to heal our trauma, love them enough to always put them first, love them enough to walk through hard times.

Christmas in Colorado was a time I will never forget.