When Control Steals Joy

Control. Something so few talk about, yet is one of life’s greatest struggles. It is easy to walk past it, as if it doesn’t happen to you. Look deeper, what steals your joy? I know for me personally, control steals my joy. I can’t control my children, my husband, or even the car in front of me. The one person I can control is me and my reaction to situations.

I fail at this daily, if I am being honest. However, I am aware and I am working on my reactions. Every. Single. Day.

Last weekend was Everett’s 10^th Birthday. We planned a mommy/son day date to Go Ape Zipline and Adventure Park. Everett was excited. I was so excited. We talked about the details of the height, speed, and length of the ziplines and things we could do to face our fears before we went.

We get checked in, the instructors attached our gear and we went for our lesson. Everett was so pumped and ready to go!  The instructor escorted us to the first true zipline course. Ev watched a few people in front of us and he was ready. He locked in his trolley and started up the latter. He was four steps from the top, four steps! His descent was in tears and panic.

I had prepared myself for this, I thought. We sat and talked on the ground about it being ok that he was scared and nervous. I could feel the knot in my stomach. I couldn’t control his fear. I couldn’t encourage him out of being so scared.

The team at Go Ape went above and beyond to help encourage him. One instructor went up and hung from the wire to show him what would happen if he slipped. Nothing was helping. He was scared. They walked us back and gave a full refund. I felt so defeated. I didn’t have a backup plan. This was part of his 10^th Birthday Celebration and I felt like a failure. A failure for not being able to help him face his fear and a failure for not having a backup plan. I didn’t feel adequate, I was instantly doubting my capabilities to mother my son. Control stole my joy in this moment.

I learned so much from my son that day, and I am forever grateful!

I encourage each of us to take a look at our daily lives. Where does control steal your joy? How can you become more aware of it and learn from those moments?